Telling, without Shame
Stick your tongue out at demagogic anti-abortionists. This, though, is for real--your name, where you live, etc. and your name printed in Ms. and MsMagazine.com. (They won't know if the address is fake. Unless you are really bad at it.) But it is time to stop hiding. I am not ashamed of my abortion and few women I know are. Difficult decisions are not necessarily shameful ones. That said, no one ever talks about It. When It does come up, I am always surprised by how many women have had an abortion and the range of ages and experiences and circumstances. Those who have not had an abortion can also sign in support of abortion rights. Those who do feel some shame need not participate and can find commiseration elsewhere. But before abortion is shoved back onto kitchen tables with paying male audiences, let's finally be honest.
G Bitch at 9:25 AM
9 Comments:
Right on to this! MOST of the women I know have had an abortion and don't regret it or stay up nights wondering whether they're damned to hell or have made the right decision.
OK, I signed, and realized I should post about the whole event. When I get slightly braver and have slightly more time. In the meantime, here are the key points.
The *only* traumatic aspect of it was that PP-NO would only give me one clinic reference, and scared me about the other clinics. I went to the clinic they liked, and it seemed incompetent (had it been a dentist, say, I would have instantly gone elsewhere). It also had a lot of cumbersome bureaucracy. At the time, a 24 waiting period was not required legally, but they had one; 'counseling' on the abortion and how bloody and so on it was going to be was not required legally, but they had it. And on, and on, and on. Obstacles, and more obstacles.
I left and called PP back, saying look, give me another reference, and they said, this is the only one which has acceptable hygiene and anaesthesia.
That was scary. I thought about it, and decided the yellow pages were better than PP, and that I could ask my questions to the clinics, directly. [Somewhere, long ago, my mother had convinced me that you had to ask PP about abortions.]
Anyway, what I discovered by calling clinics in the yellow pages was that
they were Black owned and had Black doctors. Licensed? yes. Offering anaesthesia and so on? yes. A light bulb went on. PP-NO was only recommending the white clinic.
So I picked the clinic closest to my house--right down the street, actually, I had always thought it was just an OB/GYN place, but it was an abortion clinic--and presto, done.
"Ma'am. You don't worry about a thing. I have a lot of experience.
I will do it, and I will do it correctly. You just bring me $200 on Tuesday."
You had to pay in cash, but prices were lower. No weirdness, no complications.
And so this is my story about PP-NO actively supporting white supremacy,
and being totally willing to terrify me about my abortion.
More important that I should get a WHITE abortion and stay away from those BLACK clinics, than that I should just get a decent abortion in time.
Welcome to the mother fucking South, Professor.
My experience was almost ideal--poster on the ceiling and a mobile; women surrounding me the minute my boyfriend left the room to make sure it was MY decision, not his; someone there to talk and hold my hand (they ran out of anethesia) and great follow-up care at a little clinic in Florida. A friend 20 years older than I had the kitchen table experience. I did leave out the cigar smoking of the audience.
My mother has two totally Gothic horror stories from the pre-Roe days.
I'm not telling here in case she googles me, and comes across them, it would be kind of traumatic. But they are going to have to be published sometime, because they are very instructive. (They explain why she so idealizes about Planned Parenthood.)
Thanks for linking this! I signed, and am going to link to you, hoping you don't mind.
Not at all, Bardiac. Spread the word.
Way to go, Girl. You know, I've had two. One when I was 15 years old and one, not too long ago, when I was undergoing cancer treatment and became pregnant during it. The doctors advised me it would be for the best. I took that decision to heart, because this pregnancy would be my last chance to have a child with my new husband. However, I also know that I didn't feel comfortable knowing the birth defects this child could be born with.
I delivered a set of twins 10 years ago. Both of them had multiple heart and lung defects. My one son is still with me. The other, his brother, passed away a long time ago.
For me, to bring another child into the world with serious health issues and the possibility of living through the death of another child...it was too much to bear. My decision to have the termination done was very, very well thought out and personal.
I defy any of these "pro life activists" to be there to raise these children that they crusade so heavily to save. Put your damn money where your mouths are!
I mean, seriously. If they knew that my child would be born with severe brain defects and possibly disfigured or without limbs...would they step up to the plate to help me raise him or her?
Somehow, I doubt it.
Every woman's situation is unique.
While I frown on women who utilize abortion as a form of birth control...I still revel in the fact that women are free to make their own choices about what happens in their own bodies.
CP.
and not only did I sign, but used all my true information...because frankly, that is the only way to make it real.
Be true to yourself.
If you had behind a pseudonym or a fake address, you are saying you are ashamed.
Im not. I made my choice. I stand by my choice and I defend a womans ability to make those same choices for herself someday.
I have a 19 year old daughter. Should she ever find herself in a similar position, I want her and not some bureaucrat, to be able to decide what her future holds.
CP.
I was recently at the Iowa State Fair (long story), and I was OUTRAGED when I saw a booth set up in one of the buildings by the antis. Their giant poster claimed that 94% of women regret their abortion (My picture of this is here), which I know is a big fucking lie. This list is so important. Anyone who signs it, whether using real info or not, is brave.
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