The Palate-Scalding Tang of Resignation
I no longer start yawning mid-afternoon, about 3; I start around 7. That gives me 4 hours in a day that were lost to me for at least 5 years. I cannot do much after 8 p.m. any day of the week. I also cannot get out of bed as early as I wake more than a couple of mornings a week; the other mornings I spend 1-2 hours in a fugue state of varying depth and intensity--my thinking is awake but my body is numb or painfully tired; my body is warm, alert and restless but I'm too groggy to understand what day it is or interpret the numbers on the clock and I doze off every 10-20 minutes for 10-20 minutes, which adds to the lack of coherence; or somewhere in between. If I am near the middle, the perfect storm of semi-body alertness and mental semi-alertness, it takes an hour to do the bare minimum and get to a position of possibly thinking of doing something.